Episode 130 – When Will it Heal?
“In love, turn to yourself, love yourself. Choose to remove the need to unlearn the need to have someone approve of you and like you, love you, support you, and love yourself and love and serve others. You'll find that all those things you've been waiting to heal, suddenly no longer matter.” - Kellan Fluckiger
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What you are about to learn
Part of being human is encountering things that we don’t expect that is hurting us. And these scenarios that hurt us is becoming a wound in our hearts. How is this affecting our lives and hindering us in achieving our ultimate life? Well, those divine gifts aren't in a vacuum. They are sometimes triggered and sometimes different. To buy the trauma, we have experienced in life. But anyway, so the three parts to this is when it will heal? Which is sometimes the question we ask, and you know, you can, I've asked it, agony over family things, relationships with siblings, relationships with kids, things that are it seemed to be leftover from the days when I was struggling with depression and in addictions and all that sort of thing.
We all have wounds and that they're real, and they're buried. As you know, I've got three books that are being written about my journey. Biography. The first one is a Tightrope of Depression, my journey from darkness, despair, and death to light love and life if you want to read about it on Amazon, but in addition to writing the book, I decided to create an album of music, 11 original songs. In other words, we put up all of our defenses the best we can, and we make all the excuses we can. And then we look in the mirror, and all of it evaporates, and there's no escape, and there are no answers. And you look at yourself, and you say, it's true. I'm nobody, nothing, etc., etc. And if you've experienced that, you know what I mean. And that fear or feeling of total desperation and loss, where there's no way out, and no way forward is what makes us commit, attempt, or commit suicide. And that is terrifying. They are real, and they are deep. Understanding that the wounds are real and the scars are sincere, but that they are not your fault is critical.
Wound wax instead of blaming ourselves or blaming others for these wounds and thinking where it all came from. Why don’t we ask this? What am I going to do now? Well, don't ignore them—step one. Don't ignore the feelings that you have when you have those wounds. That doesn't mean anger. It doesn't mean a contract. It means perhaps with help understanding exactly what happened, assuming what you took from those events and the inside stories that you've been carrying.
How do I keep going? During all this processing and dealing with wounds and getting new ones and living life, we must understand that this stuff happens—tough things. I was going to say bad things, but they're not even wrong. Things that are difficult, that causes momentary or lasting pain. Again, depending on the story, they're going to happen. So how do we keep going? Looking inward and realize that you have control. It does not matter what anyone or anything outside of you does. Now, I know that might sound like hard doctrine, but the truth is, events are neutral. I choose not to need someone’s approval. The only person that needs to believe in you is you. God believes in you, and you believe in you, and that's all you need. And if other people believe in you, or support you or love you, that is a beautiful and spectacular bonus. When will it heal? And the answer to When will it improve is right now because the second thing I said the first thing was to look inside.
Key Takeaways
“The reason they still feel like wounds is because the stories are still hurting you. And so whatever the stories are, whoever caused them however they happened. Doing something about changing the story that you're still carrying is what's necessary. It's not necessary to go get anyone else to apologize or do anything. None of that matters. What matters is you changing inside the story that you're carrying.?
“To realize that you have absolute control over whether these things hurt you and how long they continue to hurt. You know some people hear that, and they get to say, Well, I'm just going to, I'm never going to let that person, and they adopt belligerent and belligerent negativity won't serve you either. In love, turn to yourself, love yourself. Choose to remove the need to unlearn the need to have someone approve of you and like you, love you, support you, and love yourself and love and serve others. You'll find that all those things you've been waiting to heal, suddenly no longer matter.”
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You can find out more about Kellan and how he can help you achieve your ultimate life by checking out his website.
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