Episode 119 – No One Deserves My Criticism
“There are other ways to have a conversation with someone about improvement. But that isn't a criticism. We do best when we are full of love, kindness, and all that good stuff toward each other, and criticism never occurs in any of those places. Now, it does say in some sacred literature that God chastens those he loves and chastens means to correct.” - Kellan Fluckiger
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What you are about to learn
Every person has their own choices, and we should be cautious judging each other. Because we all have to make decisions, we have to make choices. Criticism is judging a person because that's really what happens when we're criticizing someone. Even if we pretend we're giving constructive criticism, there's no such thing as constructive criticism. Those are an oxymoron. Constructive criticism doesn't exist. So let talk about what do I mean by no one deserves my criticism? We were designed by God the same. God is no respecter of persons. So every person is alike. Every person has an equal opportunity. God doesn't interfere with our choice or our ability to make choices. So what does it mean? If we think about all beings, Children of God. You're going to define your purpose and define it, especially for you. And what does that have to do with no one deserves my criticism?
My way is not through criticism. I am a coach, and my way of teaching is not through criticism, I encourage them, I lifted them, I blessed them and helped them. And even when they made mistakes, if I help them, fix them, and move forward and do something different, it always went better, not just a little better, way better than when I would criticize, blame, accuse or do any of those kinds of things.
What happens when we criticize? People stop listening, and they walk away. Instead of criticizing, why don’t we do it in the right way? Let’s instead do it with kindness; let’s frame them in love because goodness and love keep communication open. No blaming, no judgment. Make them realize that yes, they have done wrong things but, that could still be corrected. Do not push the blame. Don’t make them feel that it’s all their fault. You may say that they’re wrong but, do not be harsh. Well, there may be constructive communication that needs to take place. Criticism by its nature means you're pointing out flaws, and the minuted people feel that they’re being attacked, they move away. That will end up not helping at all. That is at least what I learned from being a coach.
I believe that no one deserves my criticism. No one deserves to be taken to task or set to write, or self righteously corrected, by me. I would much rather just love them as they are. And by doing so, by loving them, by understanding them. I do not criticize. I help them cope, guide them, follow their every step, and make sure that they are taking the right path towards the ultimate life.
Key Takeaways
“I know for my work as a coach, that the minute someone feels attacked, they stop listening. Now you notice that with kids if you're trying to help them and I've had kids, and I made a million mistakes with them. So I'm the last one to hold myself out as a good loan a perfect parents, I wasn't even good and made a million mistakes. But what I've learned from that and for managing many people, and from having many coaching clients, is that the minute someone feels attacked or criticized, they stopped listening.”
“My purpose is to be a catalyst for people to step into their devices. In their greatness, and I love every minute of it. I love every day I get up I, from the minute I get up till the minute I go to bed. I just every day, I can't, I'm not exaggerating those of you that know me to know that that's true. All right, so what is your purpose? If you're having a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy, I don't know what yours is, but you need to discover it. And what does that have to do with no one deserves my criticism? Well, let's just talk about how we go through life. If you're going to create a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy, it stands to reason that we treat each other like we want to be treated. Like if I want to be able to be loved, and I need to love if I want to accept service and kindness from others.”
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You can find out more about Kellan and how he can help you achieve your ultimate life by checking out his website.
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