Episode 120 – Everyone Deserves to Be Heard
“So if you want to be heard, be a good listener. Isn't that interesting?” - Kellan Fluckiger
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What you are about to learn
Being heard is having the freedom to express what you think or feel, and have it be received and understood carefully—being able to safely say what you think, without being dangerous in any way, such as retaliation or emotional isolation. Everyone deserves to be heard; you can't control how other people listen to you. We can't control how other people listen to us. We need to learn to be the listener. If people can’t control themselves not to listen to you, we must learn how to listen to them. Be that person who is ready to listen!
How do you listen? Sometimes we think that absorbing a sound or a speech through our ears and details processed by our minds are listening. Yes, that is technically correct if you will describe it. But listening has many layers.
Understanding superficially, understanding thoroughly, catching the tone and color of the lens of the person who's trying to express themselves, hearing all the things that aren't said as well as the things that are mentioned, often when there's communication going on the first layer is just testing—being safe. This is for the sake of the person who is speaking to you. That person must feel that it is safe to talk because you are ready to understand his/her concern without judgment. Making them think that is it safe for them to release, give, and trust whatever their secrets are. You are ready to understand them. Suppose people feel that you are trustworthy and won’t judge them in any way. They will automatically listen to you for your advice and your suggestions.
So you see, that is why the title of this episode is everyone deserves to be heard mainly because we can’t control others to listen to us, BUT what we do control is how we listen to others. And what I've discovered is the better listener I am, the more open, non-judgmental, and the safer it is, the more I'm able to be heard.
Key Takeaways:
“What we do control is how we listen to others. And what I've discovered is, the better listener I am, the more open, non-judgmental, and the safer it is, the more I do that, the better I feel, and the more I'm able to be heard. And so I just found that interesting that by developing my skill of listening in a safe, non-judgmental, open way, the more somehow I feel heard and listened to. Isn't that interesting?”
“So if you learn to listen, and allow others to be heard the way you want to be heard, you will experience greater listening to you as you learn to express better listening by you or model that. So, as you think about this podcast, everyone deserves to be heard. What I want you to take away is a commitment that you will intentionally focus, think, and inspect as it were, how you are as a listener?”
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You can find out more about Kellan and how he can help you achieve your ultimate life by checking out his website.
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